😵‍💫 Surviving the Sunday Scaries

It’s that special time of the week again. The weekend’s vanished, and now you’re staring blankly at the ceiling, questioning every life choice that led to yet another Monday. The Sunday Scaries are real — and no amount of hydration, mindfulness, or overpriced candles will erase the creeping dread of another week spent pretending your job “brings you joy.”

At Silly Sausage, we don’t sell solutions.

We sell survival tools — forged in the fires of a thousand pointless meetings and stress-tested by fake smiles so routine we forgot what a real one feels like. We’ve been there — and we’re here to help you laugh your way through it.

🧠 Symptoms You May Be Experiencing:

• Mild to severe disassociation any time a coworker starts talking
• Sudden urges to throw your laptop against a wall just to feel something
• Existential screams muffled behind “Happy to help!”
• Deep suspicion your boss schedules meetings to justify existing

If that hit a nerve, good. That means you’re still alive — and we’re here to help you tolerate it until you find your escape.

🛒 Survival Tools for the Spiritually Checked Out:

• “My Dreams Are Dead | At Least I’m Getting Paid” Mug – For sharing the real reason you turn up on Mondays
• “Dreams on Ice” Tumblers – Freeze your drink and your expectations
• “Scrolling Through the Pain” Phone Case – The cheaper alternative to actual therapy
• Empty Dreams Notebook – Document your spiral with the illusion of productivity

Shop the full Sunday Scaries survival merch here — and subscribe to the Sausage Grinder below for biweekly coping tips, product drops, and memes to get you through the grind.

💬 “Do I want to work? No. Will I show up anyway? Depends. Did I win the lottery?”

– You, every day but Saturday